Snappy gifts

I have a couple of cameras. It's sounds so grand. It's not. I bought a new one a few weeks ago so now I have a "big" one to go along with my "wee" one. So, as you can see, even in my own head, that doesn't make me a photographer. I don't have the eye for it. I have an eye for spotting false breasts or for measuring cup and bra size at a glance. Different strokes....I'm just a happy snapper ....with an unusual talent for breast quantisation.
Anyway, Sarah's are lovely. Photos, that is. She has the eye, perhaps even two of them. Lucky bastard.
Photojournalists however, it's probably more about being in the right place at the right time than technique or composition. They've got to put themselves in danger quite often, but even more than that they need to have a certain type of character to allow them to detach themselves from the very inhumanity they may be recording. For that reason I couldn't do it. I was reminded of that fact when I ended up on a web page recently for competition winning photos and the subject matter for the one that started me thinking is linked below.

If you're easily offended don't click here.

P.S. the photo at the top, anyone want to guess?

Stop

I need to put in a lot of effort at work at the moment. As time is finite I think one of the first things to go has to be this. I only started blogging to learn something about the web and so I was curious when MSN started their Spaces blogging service in December 2004 and was one of the first to sign up. I moved to Blogger in April this year, some of the old entries have been migrated across, some haven't, the old blog and it's archives being here. Most of it is crap though there are some funny posts here and there, the sort of thing I like reading when I cruise other blogs. To those who call here occasionally, thanks for reading... and commenting. I don't know if this will be permanent or merely a sabbatical so I'll leave it up for now.

manage Gmail accounts in Firefox

Not content with getting the Windows Media Player in Spaces working with Firefox I've also added an extension to manage my Gmail accounts from the browser too.

It's straightforward. Download from here. Install. Close and re-open Firefox and set up your Gmail accounts in the Gmail Manager extension by clicking where you see the Gmail icon.

Now if I could find an extension to deliver a woman to me and a bowl of hot stew I'd never have to get up off my arse.

Media Player powertoy in Spaces using Firefox

Via Mike Prilliman (who's one of those IT guru types) I came across an extension for Firefox called IE Tab which was made to allow developers to see how a page would render in IE but without having to leave Firefox.
Simply put, download the extension, install it, close and re-open Firefox to enable the extension. Then click on View, Toolbars, Customize and drag the IE Tab icon to your toolbar. That's it.

Now whenever you open a Spaces page where you see a Media Player click IE Tab and the page will load as IE sees it, including a functional media player. You can have IE Tabs and Firefox Tabs open at the same time.

Send donations or favours in lieu of money to me at ....



The small print

Readers are reminded that I know nothing about computers, the internet, women or self-discipline. Favours of a sexual nature are accepted (and preferred) though not if you're male. If this clashes with other extensions, crashes your browser or gives you a nasty rash you're on your own but let me know as I enjoy a laugh.

2006 - A Spaces Odyssey

What a week of technofuckery. My car keeps having a flat battery and popping the boot lid open. The new business line at my new house, well even the phone company can't work out what's happened here but it goes along the lines (ha ha, oh all right!) of them activating a line on one exchange and erecting a pole connected to another exchange. Even I know that's not going to work. Someone was supposed to be here on Thursday to fit the junction box inside the house. Do I have to tell you? Good. But if he had it would have been fun to watch him try to work out why the damn thing wasn't connecting. To add insult to injury they delivered a phone book to me on that day.

Back to the car. They discovered what I had suspected which was a current drain on the battery from a component. A "module" (I believe this is the generic name they give to something they don't themselves understand) which apparently controlled everything including Tower Bridge, the Hubble Space Telescope and a cigarette machine in a nearby bar, had decided to turn into HAL. This would therefore explain why I lit up like a fucking Christmas tree after being in the car for even just a few seconds. 5000 volts needed to produce a blue coloured spark apparently - I kid you not. Still, they seem convinced it's fixed even though I can still light a fine Cuban cigar off the static discharges. No doubt I'll soon find out on a morning when HAL is telling me it's 1 degree - the sadistic, narky silicon fucker.

Treewalk ing

What the f's he on about now? Ever had a day when the page you want to load just won't or pictures and links in pages take forever? Me too!! Especially now I've got my broadband enabled at the new house. No idea what it is but I can't load pages for shit. Until now.

The solution I came across accidentally (like everything else) and ... by fluck!, does it make a difference. It's called TreeWalk DNS. I'll try to explain what it does but as I'm stupid this will most likely be wrong. When you type in a URL the internet service provider's address book converts it into a number and "connects" with it. Sometimes however this information in the address book gets corrupted or their DNS server acts up. This is when you get error pages and slow or non-loading pages. Your computer keeps these addresses temporarily and disposes of them when you switch off. Treewalk doesn't use your ISP's DNS server and also keeps a copy of regularly viewed pages' addresses even after the p.c. is switched off hence faster loading.

If you're happy it's safe why not try it. It auto-installs even on a broadband network and seems to speed up things dramatically particularly if you use a multi-tabbed browser like Firefox. Your firewall may warn you about an application called "named.exe" trying to act as a server. This is what's meant to happen. There's a support forum at the site.

Oh, and it's free.

Get it here.

"..I may be gone some time...."

The predicted fuck up by my ISP in changing telephone numbers has happened. After 3 weeks of waiting (and wondering why my old telephone number was still working for the ADSL) I got an email from them stating that as their record of my postcode differed from my telephone service provider's they couldn't do it. I would have to contact my telephone service provider to have them amend their records. What a load of twat. So the address is identical, they have the first half of the postcode meaning they can narrow the street down to a particular area of the city I live in, they know I created the order (the person who they both had the correct old address, postcode and number for) but they can't be SURE that it's me or the right house and street even though I provided the ISP with the new telephone number. Who the fuck else apart from me would the telephone company have given that new number to ?

Yes, I'm slightly peeved.

I'm moving the office to the new house today so god only knows when the new number will be active for ADSL. In the meantime amuse yourselves by delving into my archives or making up a resolution for me (see previous entry).

new Firefox 1.5 released

As many of you know (and there's a clue somewhere on my page) I use Firefox browser, even here on Spaces . A new updated version has been released for all main software platforms such as Windows, Mac and Linux . The new version 1.5 should appear here within a few hours or alternatively click on the Firefox logo on this page.
I cheated and grabbed it from here though and am running it now . It seems to be faster loading pages and has a few tweaks around security and clearing personal data in one click plus the ability to drag and drop tabs . Of course you may find some of your previously installed Firefox extensions don't run with it (it will tell you if this is so) but I found if I went directly to each extension's author's homepage a 1.5 compliant version was available there .

moving towards sex

This Christmas I've decided to do something different - buy a new house. Having picked up the keys I now have the job of making it liveable . It doesn't need much (o.k. a new gas range and kitchen, blinds, some flooring etc.) but it needs a repaint inside after filling and sanding a million picture hook holes and plugs where fittings used to be (randomly arranged of course). I spent today arranging electricity, home phone, multi room satellite - amazingly I have got the dates I wanted even though there's only 3 working days between Christmas and new year. I love it when a plan comes together although I think I slept in with my ADSL provider - they need up to 3 weeks to activate the DSL line with the phone provider. Getting my business line looks like it's going to take a while longer, probably because my company will take several days to do anything at their end to start the order process off. Twats. 1 day down and counting. Of course now I have to get a move on and get my filling, sanding and painting done around Christmas. Still, should be relatively settled by new year's eve. Did someone say party? Music, t.v., fridge - prioritise! So if I disappear for a while you'll know where I've gone unless it's new year's eve in which case even I'll not know where I am.

p.s. I hope I get some sex soon other ways I may burst. It won't be pretty. Wish me luck.

more internet gems

2 recent sites I came across .....

link 1

link 2

basking

My life's work is done . I have now achieved the envious position of being the number 1 website coming up in a Google search in India when looking for .....


this !


*lies back in chair, puts feet on table, hands behind head and basks in all his glory*

wonder

The sea, it still amazes me . What must it seem like to a child ?

buy low , sell high

E-bay never ceases to amaze me . If the ad looks fancy and has enough good info on it people will over-bid in a lemming like fashion - guaranteed . Even shit sells .
Whilst cruising E-bay for a couple of things I want I watched some computer memory items . I'm going to have be careful here so that the nerdy geek part doesn't take over . Anyway, a 1GB stick of what I wanted got bid up to £79 (it costs the same if you buy direct from the memory experts Crucial and you won't have any problems with warranties) when a higher specification 1GB stick is on sale for £39 delivered in a buy it now auction . Have you worked out which one I bought yet ? As for selling - when I do the upgrade I'll have 2 second hand 256 MB sticks . Guess what ? Yeah, it seems with a good enough ad I'll get more for my second hand sticks than they can be bought for new .

Thank God for stupid people .

looking for something

Every day we all get strange and unusual Google searches that point to our Spaces which never cease to amaze us .
This morning's best (and non pornographic) example from mine is the following .
Of the 9800 answers found for this search mine was top .

click here



update - no, this has nothing to do with the entry dated 26th September !

leopards

Fuck . I cannot be bothered with this ! Another entry laboriously typed up and linked , hit publish and the great MSN hoover sucks it into oblivion never to be seen again .

I resign .



##update##

CUNTS

revenge on the 8-legged beasties

don't let the spiders get your bun

tomorrow will be spread the spam day

Are you like me ? Approachable but not universally welcoming ? Selective at who you choose to speak with ? O.K. , then you can read on .

I don't want to sound like a grump but these days when complete ( even in the web sense ) strangers pop round Spaces spamming the comments sections with things like "spread the love" - they really fuckin' wind me up . They grow like a virus as a few others join in .

I don't need your love and any I want to share I'll share by visiting a person's Space and leaving a comment which has something to do with something they've written . It could be Hard love or Empathic love , Humorous love or Love love . But it won't be Spam love .

My house has a garden . It's not exactly how I'd want it to look . Some of the hedges are being eaten by ivy . Weeds are popping up through the pebbles . The whole thing runs off at a slant . Nobody would say it's the nicest garden they'd ever seen . All those things are wrong and ultimately they're down to me , but I wouldn't let the neighbour's dog shit in it .

D'ya get me ?

Will it rain , will it pour ?

Fiddling with Firefox today I contacted the Arkansas Oracle , juncquedujour , whereupon I was made aware of a Firefox add-on ( they call them extensions ) named Forecastfox .
Now , there are no prizes for guessing what this does but suffice to say it sits discretely in your browser and lets you know whether to iron your shorts soon or bring the washing in .
I've added it to the Firefox list down the page .

I've been experiencing some problems with Firefox lately , but predominantly on MSN pages . Updates from 1.04 to 1.05 to 1.06 didn't solve it . The versions immediately before 1.06 disabled some of the functionality of some of the extensions due to a security patch (I was using 20 and most were not verified as being compatible) so I backed up my profile , went through a diagnostic and finished up re-installing 1.06 from scratch which was painless . All my settings and bookmarks are still there . Seems to be a lot faster now , but obviously I couldn't leave it there , what with it working O.K. and all that so , at the risk of breaking it again tweaked some settings which should render pages faster - link also in the list .

It's going to be a roaster for me tomorow folks - 17 degrees - already stocked up with the factor 60 .

Results from the favourite browser poll.....

Browser poll Which browser do you prefer using ?
Firefox	50%	11
Internet Explorer	27%	6
other	14%	3
Opera	9%	2
Mozilla/Netscape	0%	0
Avant	0%	0
Mac	0%	0
total votes: 22
Click here to create free polls

Surprised Firefox came out ahead of Internet Explorer

automatic RSS feed display in Firefox

No sooner am I blagging on about "live bookmarks" in Firefox and how handy they are and I come across a fantastic extension that's probably even better .

It's called "RSS panel" and can be picked up here .

What it does is automatically check a page for an RSS feed . If it finds one it places a thin banner neatly in the top left of the web page - see pic 1 .

The banner can be rolled down to reveal all of the page's entries ( see pic 2 )- i.e. lists , photo albums or whatever . It can also be dragged and dropped on the screen to suit .

Now , this extension is just the dog's nadgers - works on all pages and does it all behind the scenes without any input necessary from you and it's small and pretty .

You've just gotta try it !