Sharper readers may have picked up on the fact that I have not, in fact, spent a weekend with Monica Belucci. Wishful thinking. Much baby minding on Saturday and Sunday, good fun though. Today, although sort of a holiday, my time has and will be spent doing CBT and on-line exams. About fuckin' time I exercised my diminishing grey matter.
P.S. can someone smart explain this to me, please?
see, we had a torrid affair many years ago and ...well, she just won't let go. I know I should say something but ...she's a good person, average looking, smells nice and has made a packet in the movies. So, out of the goodness of my heart I allow her to be my fuck buddy. Magnanimous I'm sure yo
u'll agree. We mostly stay indoors if you know what I mean. It's not as if she gets recognised when we go out or anything, even after she did that Matrix sequel. It's just that she's a bit of a minx ....and she's sooo into me. So if you don't hear from me for a day or two you'll know why.
Celebrity. What a misused term that is these days. Through reality shows and fly on the wall documentaries we've been bombarded through lazy programming with faces new and not so new, almost all of dubious talent. Most of the others prostitute themselves "for their fans", complete attention whores or speak/act in a way that suggests they think a different set of rules apply to them.
Everyone can be a celebrity if they can get their mug on t.v.. And the more they're on the bigger the celebrity they've become.... or so they'd like us to believe.
It's time to fight back. Time to nudge the so-called celebs in front of the bus. Here's my list of some who should meet their maker post haste.
There are things in life one just shouldn't do. No ifs or buts, they're just not clever. I'm not saying I've done any of these but take it from me that I have it on good authority that the following are NOT recommended.
1. drinking Guinness whilst entertaining someone of the opposite sex. It's o.k. if you stop at 2 but if you drink on or if your meal is particularly rich or mix it with a quality Merlot..... well, let's just say have your excuse ready for later on. Or make sure your coat is handy. If they'd been able to mass produce that noxious gas during WW1 think how many lives would have been saved.
2. lighting a cigarette from a camp-fire. I know it'll seem cool and avoid the problem of having to find who's nabbed your lighter or fight the slightest of breezes to ignite your cancer stick of choice but you'll only succeed in giving yourself male pattern baldness in 2 seconds flat. And your eyelashes and eyebrows will look just a tad silly when reduced to black shrivelled stubs.
3. falling asleep after sex only to awake in excruciating groinal pain due a condom still being in place, wanger, for the first time, as big as a baseball bat but having the appearance of the most massive blood blister you can imagine. Not a good look.
We all need a boost once in a while. Does us the world of good. An ego stroke. So Saturday I was supposed to be meeting a friend for a drink. When we arrived at our chosen imbibing emporium, The Spaniard (which is smaller than my living room) he told me that we might be being joined by a girl he met a couple of nights before and her friends who were supposed to be travelling on to see a live band somewhere else. Rock chicks. Well, as sure as constipation follows 2 bowls of All-Bran they turned up not 5 minutes later. Not his type I thought but what do I know and she seemed chatty enough, good fun. One of her mates had more chins than Jabba the Hut and the other ... well, there was something about her. Black shoulder length hair, 5' 4'ish and very smiley. I'm a sucker for smiley. After some persuasion we decided to join them at the Empire. Smiley kept Jabba company and my mate's new "mate" bobbed between him and me and them. Smiley and me kept catching each other looking. She popped herself over beside me at the bar and we chatted (or rather I berated her) at the fact she still lived at home at the age of 25. She mentioned that she spent more time at her boyfriend's house but.... well, she kept getting close. Kissy close. You know that moment when you both realise you're too close to do anything other than kiss, when you feel the electricity, when you feel oblivious to everything else happening around you. That's one of the best feelings anyone can have.
Having lost 5 lbs so far with little to no adherence to my new healthy diet I know I must "step up".
Part of this will be eating more vegetable enzymes (most of which are destroyed by cooking) so that means raw veg. Alongside is my first successful result in sprouting Aduki beans (said to increase their nutrients by 500%!). I plan to include these little buggers in my blended carrot drink (mmmmm) and on salads (along with Raspberry and Rioja balsamic dressing).
Goal is 16lb weight loss by 9th July. 5 down, 11 to go.... 
Hectic couple of days. Planes, trains and automobiles and several miles of wearying footwork. After less than 3 hours sleep I checked in for a plane trip. I was last on the plane ....again. Not my fault this time though as the Flight Attendant/check-in person decided to invite me to an air hostess (sorry, Flight Attendant) party in a couple of weeks time. Of course I should decline (though I said I'd see if I could make it) but, given my record of normally having the ground crew have to ask the Captain if I can board, it may be a wise move as sooner or later my charm/attitude are going to let me down. And you never know, I may even have to queue less in future. When I turned my mobile on immediately after landing from my return flight it beeped a reminder at me.
Monty! Party sat 3rd june at XXXXXXXXX. 5 mins from XXXXX airport! Hope 2 c u there. Hollar nxt time u r tvl'n ! Tracy o.
Decisions, decisions.
Wake up, do some work, take some grief , deal with arseholes, suffer a bit of rejection, eat, sleep. Rinse, repeat ad nauseam.
How do you get through when life just seems an interminable grind. When ups are short lived and few and far between. When normality feels like an ever lasting bout of the shits interspersed at random with unanaesthetised tooth pulling. Fun, with an f.
I wish I'd worked harder when I was smart. I wish I'd taken more chances when I could afford to. Now I wish I'll buy the winning lottery ticket.
Perhaps I need to get healthy again. Perhaps it's just the after effects of too long a day in London yesterday. Perhaps I need a little luck. Something needs to change. I need to change. I can't keep living with that little f.
I'll eat practically anything. At least have a go. Things like... dulse, a local seaweed. Fried chilli crickets. Whole dried squid. So having no cooker (due to a defective gas plumber, when I do see him,and I will, I'm going to show him a new technique for bending pipe) I bought a fuck-off BBQ. Proper no holds barred lean mean grillin' machine, hood, temp guage, flame deflection screens, electronic ignition, 16 speaker car stereo.... you know what I mean. For the first day or two I could've burnt an ice-cube. Now, I am the Gourmet de Feu. Perfect fillet or sirloin? No problem, give me 5 minutes. Char grilled peppers & veg? Piece of piss. Honeyed pork ribs, mmm, be right up. In short, dinner is a breeze. Dishes require less preparation and cooking time than a Member of Parliament needs to pick up a rent boy on Hampstead Heath. Allbeit the local weather means that sometimes a Sou' wester is needed to brave the elements at meal times. Breakfast, however, has been a bit of an obstacle so far but one that I am keen to overcome. This morning I am about to try wok cooked scrambled egg which will accompany grilled honey cured thick sliced bacon, vine tomatoes, large cap mushrooms and anything else suitable I can think of.
Table for two?
There's a bit of a kerfuffle going on at the minute. The Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott has been outed about a recent affair he had. He wasn't sacked by Tony B Liar but a member of the public complained to the police on the grounds that, as a public servant, having a bit of slap and tickle on company time (and in his case at an employer provided office) is an offence. It certainly should be in his case, have you seen the pic? Police are investigating as we speak.
Apparently 20% of U.K. companies have a policy regarding relationships which would mean something like this is grounds for dismissal. It got me to thinking if I'd ever compromised myself in that way and of course I have. I'll stop the clock at 5. No, just remembered ...6. Actually 8, I'm all out at 8. So, I can't really have a go at John. Work hard, that's what I say.
On visiting some blogs I frequent I caught a piece of comment spam. You know the sort. Sometimes it's to promote selling something, sometimes (and this is even worse), it's to self promote a blog - and no acknowledgement of what's been written in the entry this piece of faecal blog waste has been dumped in. Bad manners I say. I even saw one such piece of flotsam placed on an entry where the blog owner had just written an entry about recently losing her father. I wrote a little about the subject here on my old blog. The latest piece of spam is this.....
I have opened a new MSN space and invite you to come and check it out. This is not just any regular space...this space is somewhere you can come and tell a deep dark secret, confess to anything that is plaguing you, tell a story of love lost or whatever crosses your mind, or just make a wish for all to see.
You can remain completely anonymous or leave your name, the choice is always yours! I opened this space to give advice and put my schooling to some use while im off work, i also know that we all thrive on the stories of others! I also realized we all have a secret or fantasy we are dying to tell but cant! Well come to Miss Pink's space and let it all out! Thats what it's there for! Dont be shy now...i know this space can be a huge success!
Please read the WELCOME blog for further details. My email address is also posted if you would like to send a note or add me to messenger.
Be the first to click the link and tell your deep and darkest thoughts! Cant wait to see you at the newest space that will most definatly cause a stir. And we all need that occasionally!
Best Regards,
Miss Pink.Ca
... promoting this blog. What the fuck's all that about? "Got no friends? Tell me your secrets, publicly, for all to see and mock." Great! As you can see from above and this comment page here spelling and grammar aren't important. What really takes the biscuit though is this statement...Any idea's, suggestions, feedback is always appreciated and welcomed. Negative Remarks against this space or the people who decide to use it for its intended purpose will be deleted and ignored.
So, that's any feedback is welcome as long as it's not critical. OK. And uninvited comments that you don't like will be deleted. Got it. Here's a comment, I'll put it here though.... "Take your 'lil pink book and stick it up your hypocritical pink arse you nosey bitch. Sideways."
Lola, tell me this isn't your wee sister.
Mini-me had a not so mini fall on Monday. It was an accident and I can't really blame anyone, well... except her mother. For other adults out there here's what not to do.
