Sunday, May 14, 2006

Gourmet de Feu


I'll eat practically anything. At least have a go. Things like... dulse, a local seaweed. Fried chilli crickets. Whole dried squid. So having no cooker (due to a defective gas plumber, when I do see him,and I will, I'm going to show him a new technique for bending pipe) I bought a fuck-off BBQ. Proper no holds barred lean mean grillin' machine, hood, temp guage, flame deflection screens, electronic ignition, 16 speaker car stereo.... you know what I mean. For the first day or two I could've burnt an ice-cube. Now, I am the Gourmet de Feu. Perfect fillet or sirloin? No problem, give me 5 minutes. Char grilled peppers & veg? Piece of piss. Honeyed pork ribs, mmm, be right up. In short, dinner is a breeze. Dishes require less preparation and cooking time than a Member of Parliament needs to pick up a rent boy on Hampstead Heath. Allbeit the local weather means that sometimes a Sou' wester is needed to brave the elements at meal times. Breakfast, however, has been a bit of an obstacle so far but one that I am keen to overcome. This morning I am about to try wok cooked scrambled egg which will accompany grilled honey cured thick sliced bacon, vine tomatoes, large cap mushrooms and anything else suitable I can think of.

Table for two?

10 comments:

Sarah said...

You had me at grilled peppers......

monty said...

Sarah, that's a fantastic pic of you and the little one in your slide-show.

Anonymous said...

Living large!

Sarah said...

Well thanks. I clean up alright.

Speaking of little one. Your new video- the combination of a beautiful, witty baby, gorgeous claw-foot tub, and of course your voice...you should never take that video down. Never.

KnackeredKaz said...

I'm now officially starving. Scrambled eggs and thick honey cured bacon...on a barbecue...droooooooooolllll.

Jaysis, and I'm on a diet too. So dry brown bread and lettuce leaves for me. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it does it?

monty said...

Absolutely Jacqui.

Sarah, yes you do. Everyone where I live has a baby, bath and voice like that, even the women.
Did you get your diamond ear-rings yesterday or just a pearl necklace?

Kaz, all healthy, diet friendly stuff, pull up a chair.

Anonymous said...

Table for two? I'm waiting for you to show up at my house...

(I agree with Sarah - don't take the video down!)

monty said...

Indigo, I would but.... there's nobody home.

I'll keep the video up for a day or two.

Mini-me is singing "You've got a friend in me" from Shrek. I've also got an impromptu "Wheels on the bus".

Sweary said...

I thought "You're Got A Friend In Me" is from Toy Story? Well? WELL?

monty said...

swearing lady, you're absolutely right. What sort of father am I?

*sets himself Toy Story 1 & 2 for revision tonight*