¡No habla español!
Having a wee one who is only compatible with short flights to go on holiday means I have to learn a language over the next 12 months. I don't have to, I just feel more than a bit pathetic not being able to speak more than a few words when I'm in someone else's country.
So the question is which country, which language? Let's see. Countries close to hand are Belgium, Holland, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Portugal, Finland, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Greece, Albania, Turkey, Poland, Switzerland and Austria.
I'll drop the cold ones. And Germany and Austria. German sounds awful. The words are too big too. Polish, well, they're all coming over here so that can't be good. Portugal, they drink sherry and make bad wine. No, No, NO! Italy, full of Italians and thieving Albanians. Albania, see Italy x 10. Who am I left with?
France, Spain, Greece. Greece is history, no Roman alphabet. And.... you have to throw your dirty bog roll in a basket rather than flush because their toilets were built with exit pipes the size of beer bottle necks. Very clever!
So France or Spain.
France, full of French. Sorry, got to go. No work ethic, think everyone owes them a living and the lowest spenders on deodorant products in the EU. Best export is surrendering on hearing a loud noise and hoisting up anything white.
Spain it is then. And at least Spanish is phonetic.
More on this soon.
3 comments:
Voto por España también. Pienso que acaba de conseguir dicho apagado en francés - o ella se adelantó a ti. Ella escupe quizá en ti. ¿Ella ofreció el sexo? De todas formas, las palabras de la maldición en español son el coger fresco.
Barcelona!!!
Look at all you clever bastards.
Jacqui, I've enough French to understand that. Now, keep talking dirty.
Sher, bits and pieces. My Spanish is way behind my French. I'll get back to you on that.
Loach, Marbella!!
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