panic buying

i've just realised that 11 months ago i scheduled in some panic buying for today .

so , there was nothing else for it - having frittered away the last good shopping saturday to xmas doing other people favours . i just had to get my shit together , seeing as i'm officially on holiday now and not working , and using the "give a job to a busy man " paradigm i'd never have found time to do it .

a.m - list .. who , what
12.45 pm - en route , shops open at 1 .
1pm - hit the ground running . 32" widescreen t.v. for my parents , well they have been talking about it , can't really afford it as they're both retired , and hey as it's xmas .....
1.30pm - shopping centre , older brother , the most selfish thick skinned tight lazy bastard i have ever known , a bottle of chateauneuf de pape . ( i've bought him and his 3 kids nice presents for years to be given in return 3 pairs of white sports socks , marked 2nds... every f ing year !! ) . everyone ends up happy with this one , he's heard the name chateauneuf de pape through james bond films ( although i think jb 's talking champagne ) . so although my brother's getting a blended white wine - still £10 a bottle - he'll go into work after the xmas break and brag to all his mates , sorry colleagues , that he got a bottle of ....... he's very into his brands is my unlikeable brother- and talking about money .
2.00pm - two goose feather and duck down pillows ( for me ) . you just can't settle for foam or fibre pillows after the real thing ,yes , they are the coke of pillows .
2.30pm - slippers ( again for me ) . now this seems a bit daft , i know , but let me explain . as men we always have the perenial gift of slippers . i would be deemed by everyone i know to be "awkward" to buy for . on the outside i'm mr easy going but on the inside i have opinions on everything including slippers . the only surprise is who you get the slippers from and how manky they look . therefore this year i've decided i'm going to ease someone's burden ( as someone had been making crude enquiries in the indoor footwear dept. ) and save myself a trip to the charity shop after xmas .
3.00 pm - brother in law - a top from next .
3.15pm - spent next 15 minutes delegating remaining awkward people out . time well spent . i always remember my time management training , the 4 D s . do , dump , diarise , delegate , thank god santa needed another vocation for the other 364 days a year !
3.30pm - set off to pick up big tv - easier than sitting in waiting for a delivery man and at least guarantees i'll be the big smarty-pants on xmas day when i arrive up at my parents' .
5.15pm - return home - most xmas headaches now taken care of .
aaaaaah ! i bloody love xmas now .
all that crap dealt with , the roads filled with drivers all doing 25 mph , and still no cigarette . things are looking good . but i've wanted a cigarette at least once an hour for the last 4 days .