Where am I .... ?

let's start at the beginning , which is actually the end . i woke up about 9 ish not knowing where i was ( this isn't a strange or unusual phenomenon to me ) . i was in a hotel room with a work colleague - now , i know what you're thinking ...... . well let me just say that i knew for weeks that said work colleague would probably spend the night in my room . did you have sex i hear you ask , did you make the beast with 2 backs ? well no , i didn't and that probably had a lot to do with the fact that my roomy was kevin . so no sex or strange goings on then ? now i'll go back to the beginning .

kindly, someone had rearranged my flight to a more sensible time so i waddled into the airport with the customary 20 mins to departure , walked straight past everyone and went up to the close out desk where i proceeded to piss off the check in lady by not having my driving licence to hand . i'm not sure what her rush was here as she gleefully told me the flight was 55 minutes late . my boss was getting this flight too , he arrived later having got his secretary to do the sensible ring ahead thing . went through the 2 nd security screening and there's one guy who always pulls me ( it must be that "i've shot a kalashnikov" look about me ). anyway he pulled my bags to bits and then proceeded to check every one of my laptop's orifices in the pursuit of some well stashed class A s no doubt ( must remember never to hide them there ! ) the 55 mins came and went and eventually the plane left. arrived glasgow , but had lost my phone . realised as soon as i got off the plane and the lady on the information desk ( i use the word " lady " but she was biologically less of a lady than i was , i mean she had a moustache and most of a beard and was probably an ex bulgarian shot putter from the 70 s fed anabolic steroids to help prove to us that communism was better ) was less than helpful so i did what every man would do in the situation and asked one of her male colleagues to check it out ( so that's the 2nd woman i've pissed off today ) . the net result was i arrived for a 12 o'clock meeting at 10 to 3 . just time to check into the hotel round the corner and change my shirt and drop down to the doo.

restaurant , very nice - food , bloody good . wine bottles and drinks rounds coming at a suicidal pace . peeps saying team meetings wouldn't be the same again , blah , blah . took a load of pics , talked a load of bollocks , was properly shit faced by tea time . went in for a bit of mutual flirting with a work colleague ( you look nice , yes you do too ..... ) female of course . i wish i could tell you more about what happened next but i can't - i was reminded i'd given my home phone no. to someone ! i lost the camera several times , once for about an hour , only for someone to find it in my pocket . don't remember leaving the bar ( but as you can tell i obviously made the right call here ) or walking home ( although i have a vague recollection of being lost ) or getting into the hotel / room . no lap dancing , no fights , am i getting dull , growing old ?

anyway , have had enough flashbacks to make me glad i can't remember more ( at least i forecast that bit correctly ) .

so , anybody want to tell me about a recent night out of their's . with the juicy bits of course !