and then there were none
The last few days have been a bit strange. I haven't felt like writing. My best friend left today to go travelling, a year, two years, he might return and he might not.
Of my closest friends one left to live in Canada 6 years ago. One now lives in north-east England, another in London. Exactly a year ago my other closest friend emigrated to Australia. He and the one leaving today along with myself were the proverbial three legged stool. So today marked a final chapter. We grew up in or around the same town, drank together, lived and holidayed together spanning over 20 years.
Today he arrived at my house and we drove the brief 5 minute journey to the airport. The final hug outside wouldn't have given casual observers any clues to the regard we have for each other. A quick embrace, then the last fleeting eye contact before we go our own way. If I'd doubted how much he valued me his face told the full story, probably not helped by my instinctive "see ya' soon" parting comment. Quick and painful's better than slow and painful though.
I've been angry at everyone and everything all day. Close to tears at times. And I feel very alone.
8 comments:
This sadly seems to be the rule rather than the exception as we get older.
I hate this. My brother moved to Connecticut year ago, and my sister followed her life to Boston soon after. I can remember looking out my window at the porch bench where we used to sit and talk for hours. I would stand in my kitchen and sob. I wish I had some wise words to give you, but that's not what you need anyway. I hope this week takes it easy on you.
I wish I could give you a big hug. My younger son moved to California, and it's been hell.
You're not alone, you have your little 'mini me' and you have us! (I know the last part isn't too comforting) lol
Maybe you can vacation in, nor-east England, London, Australia or Canada?
If you go to Australia, save some room in your suitcase, I'll tag along!
BIG HUGS, Steph
geeez monty what a lovely but sad entry. the realization of transition sucks sometimes.
at least you had the opportunity to give a hug and say 'see ya soon'
--- that's probably not very comforting right now, I know.
wonderful entry, monty. bittersweet and touching. i'd give you one of my pills if I thought it would help.
All, thanks for your words.
I know it's not the worst thing that can happen, it's just the biggest thing right now.
I'm usually the one doing the leaving. I've struggled through many many goodbyes, and it never gets easier. Some partings have been quick and upsetting. But the most heart-wrenching losses are the ones that take years. Slowly drifting, the distance growing, the time between visits or emails getting longer. And then one day you realize you've lost them.
My sister is planning to move to Israel. That will be the hardest goodbye I'll ever have to face. I dread that day.
You can always open a bottle of wine, stick some Joss Stone on the stereo, then hurl bricks at it.
Works for me.
But seriously, lots of my mates have done the same thing - they're all over the place now. But even if you see them years from now with nothing inbetween... Well, for me it's always been like they never went away.
First bit does suck though. And no mistake.
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