Thursday, May 03, 2007

tittle tattle


Breasts. Two of my favourite words, if you know what I mean. I could look at them all day. No matter how hard I try to avert my eyes they always lock on, Exocet style.

A friend of mine got a new pair last week. She's not what I'd call an attractive girl. Not ugly in any sense either, a bit too skinny perhaps. Her 34As were not doing it for her so she spent £4000 on an upgrade seeing as her marriage had just ended. Sitting out in the sun on Sunday afternoon with a few friends, all female excepting me, she unzipped her cotton jersey cardy to show the girls her new playmates and "forgot" she was just wearing a crocheted dress underneath. Her "forgetfulness" was magnified by her decision to tweak her protruding nipples before casting her gaze in my direction.


To me her 34Ds still looked like a pair of rigid porn burger baps unsympathetically highlighted by a distinct lack of cleavage, there being more resemblance to the profile of the Great Rift Valley than a Welsh one.


Ladies, don't mess with nature. Find a way to better present what you have. I'll be happy to lend a hand.


p.s. take the test


My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on boobs

7 comments:

badgerdaddy said...

Breasts are a wonderful thing. Things. Are wonderful things. Yes. Sorry, I'm a bit distracted.

Sarah said...

You scored higher than 99% on boobs

Thats what it told me, but I know I got at least four wrong. I think it just likes me for my boobies.

monty said...

badgerdaddy, what were you saying, oh yes, distracted. Yup, me too sometimes.

Sarah, we all do.

Sultan said...

I found this test to be inspiring.

kittycatlane said...

Mine said I scored higher than 99% too. I missed one.
Now, I'm not interested in implants, BUT, a reduction and a lift... now we're talking.
I'll leave a little box by the door for donations.
BIG HUGS, Steph

badgerdaddy said...

I have to ask - where on earth did you find that picture??

monty said...

laoch, I never doubted you wouldn't. Mesmerising, aren't they?

Steph, I've left a sharp knife and some iodine. Best I can do this month.

Badgerdaddy, through a Google image search. Saved it and then forgot where it came from. Naughty but forgiveable I'd say.