bloody hell

Having spent the last 10 days trying to feel vaguely alive I went and lit up a cigarette . It's about the first thing I've tasted in all that time . No bloody idea what I've had / have . Daily fever , bleeding nose . Wanted someone to kill me , put me out of my misery . Still got fever at some point every day ( right now ) but the headaches have mostly gone and not as sensitive to light any more . But the cigarette ...... . Not clever . Tomorrow ( it's always tomorrow isn't it ) I stock up on healthy food . For the first time in years I succumbed to going to bed when I was tired and have done for 9 of the last 10 days - what made me think 4 / 5 hours sleep , fast food , cigarettes ( and the rest ) month after month were good for me ?

That's a rhetorical question .



There are still some hardcore bloggers out there ( I'm not one of them ) . I can't find enough hours to do all the things I need / want to . Spending time on the internet loses out right now , much as I enjoy it I can't justify putting it ahead of some other things in my life and I want to try giving this sleep thing a go for a few weeks - see how that makes me feel .

I will however leave any reader who gets this far with a thought I heard someone else say .

Why do people take an instant dislike to the French . answer - it saves time .