I'm really sorry ...

The title ? Just practising . O.K. - sit down and I'll tell you .

You see I went to Manchester for a work conference type thing . I only got 4 hours sleep the night before my flight so it was a long day . I met the usual bunch of colleagues some known to me, some not . There was 1 girl however - not a stunning beauty but very, veeery sexy and she's always smiling . She flirts outrageously with me and this time was no exception . She worked out early in the day that we were to be seated at the same table for dinner and when we went in to the room she changed name cards so she could sit beside me . Flirting ensued . By the time dinner had started I had already gained considerable familiarity with the best Merlot on the wine list .

• I heckled the guest speaker
  
• I had a less than positive conversation about by boss (he was sitting directly opposite me)
• I may have said or done something inappropriate with the flirter
  
• I stayed in the bar to 5 am although can't remember anything past 11 pm
  
• I told my boss's boss some things I probably shouldn't
  
• I ignored my alarm clock until exactly 8.29am when I awoke with my contact lenses still welded to my eyes - the first session of the 2nd day was starting at 8.30am sharp
  

So, as you can see Monday is a daunting day for me .

Now where was I ?

I'm really, reeeaaallly sorry .....

breathe

Often I don't know what I should write here . Sometimes I know what I want to write but know it'll take too long for me to type it in - my entries usually end up short . Today for example I had a couple of subjects I wanted to write an entry about but my plans were abruptly derailed after a quick visit to my local Co-op ( convenience store ) earlier this evening . I went round to get some essentials , bread , milk , some MDMA - you know the score . Standing in the queue for 5 minutes there is normal as there's usually only 1 old girl scanning your vitals . The queue built up and old Betsy wasn't making an impression ( she has 2 speeds , too fucking slow and stop ) so a young redhead slips in behind the counter and yells "next please" . Up I step to her till passing Betsy's customer on the way . My nostrils flare instinctively as I snort a line of ..... pure acrid sweat . But this is a young .... lady . That smell belongs on a fat fifty year old male who eats the wrong food , the poisons clogging his organs forcing liquid excrement out his pores . Forgetting my mouth was open I suck in a lung full of the sweaty haze . An involuntary gag throws my tongue forward as I reach out my hand to collect the change and I taste her disgusting smell . I couldn't have been more exposed to it if I'd pulled up her top and tongued her dripping arm pit . F U C K M E ! Ladies , if one of your brethren has an odour problem please , for the love of God do me a favour and point her to the deodorant aisle .

I've had enough ....

... Wizard of Oz . Two weeks ago in haste , a video of the classic film was bought to amuse my 21 month old daughter .
Please God , stop her crying when it reaches the end , stop her little sobbing face from blurting the heart rending "Dowoty !" . Stop her from asking the whereabouts of "Tin the man" when she wakes in the morning and when I take her home .

Grant me this and I'll be a good boy , I promise .

Leopards (2nd attempt)

Monday I spent the most of the day with a management consultant . That was interesting . No, really ! Well, interesting in different ways one of those ways being that after we'd finished our appointments and were just talking I realised he couldn't change his mode of thought . That got me wondering what he would be like if he was out for the night with his mates .....

"what'll you have, Steve?"

"Ah, perhaps the question you should be asking is what do I want to achieve from tonight, which aspect of that would make the most difference to me and why and do I have a plan in place that will help me move towards that, a plan that encapsulates the various key deliverables along the way, who will be involved and a critical path analysis which should include each person's responsibilities and agreed milestones to check our progress."

"funny you should ask that Steve . Our critical path analysis involves buying rounds each person taking responsibility to order, pay and deliver drinks to his mates and take it in turns to chat up the ugly one until the point we can't talk any more . Then we'll pick up a 2 o'clock bird at throwing out time and hope she doesn't look like this in the morning all our goals now met . Yours on the other hand involves taking a taxi home in 5 minutes which we have collectively sponsored . Oh, and Steve . Fuck off !"

leopards

Fuck . I cannot be bothered with this ! Another entry laboriously typed up and linked , hit publish and the great MSN hoover sucks it into oblivion never to be seen again .

I resign .



##update##

CUNTS

one from entry A , one from entry B

The mind boggles...

I just came across a rather strange blog space here(http://hunterschelldennotes.blogspot.com/). It is made from the work of others. Oh, I don't mean someone took bits or quotes and built new work out of them. No, this is built from the entires blog entries of others—without the usual credit, link referral, trackback or "courtesy of so and so." Posted as if the blogowner wrote these entries. I know that internet copyright laws have not managed to keep pace at the rate techonolgy requires, but surely this person must be aware that there ARE copyright laws out there.

What kind of person "borrows" complete entries and use them as his own, without some sort of acknowledgment to the original writer?

(courtesy of Jock , I know he'll see the funny side)