connect or die ... and the lesson

it's so frustrating when you can't figure a problem out , isn't it ?
i spent a large part of yesterday getting more and more angry about a problem i couldn't solve - namely - i couldn't connect to the internet . here's my tale of woe .

morning - browser can't find websites . so...... tries other browsers - no joy .
my internet acceleration software ( ON-SPEED ) says it can't connect . ah , that must be the problem , their server must be down . so ....... connects browser directly at websites instead of through ONSPEED's proxy server - no joy . bollox.
i figure the router is the problem and check it's connection . so ..... the router detects an ADSL line but no connection to a server . shite !!
i reboot the router several times to no effect and end up losing my encrypted wireless connection to the computer . feck, feck , arse ! so ......... i move the router from downstairs to upstairs where the p.c. lives ( which is a major operation as it normally stays in a unit where a video , satellite DVD and t.v. are so there's about 2 miles of spaghetti and half a dozen knots to untie as well as feeding cables blindly though tiny holes in the back ) so that i can connect the router via a LAN cable . still no connection . bastard , bastard !!
i take off encryption and re-establish the wireless connection .
i re-check the phone line to make sure i can make a phone call ( i know i should've done this earlier ) . but , still no joy . what the fuck .....
must be the fucking ISP - Tiscali . but , no connection so no phone number . ah , but i have an old disc somewhere .. so .... i load the CD and get a premium rate number to dial . and .... i speak to someone in India , who needs my e-mail address before he will answer any questions ( and he can't spell or understand my accent ) . why do i get the dyslexic Indian in the call centre ? anyway , after running up several pounds of almost clear profit for Tiscali he tells me i'm dialling the narrowband help-line and he can't help me . BASTARDS !!!!!! so , he gives me another number which i dial .
this then tells me if i'm ringing about a " no-connection " problem that there is a " major BT outage in the north east of England . mmmmm , i don't live there but could that effect me anyway ? it also tells me to ring another number , the " status line " which would give me an update on the problem .
so ..... i ring and the line either goes dead or is constantly engaged .a lot less than no joy . i'm gonna fucking break legs now , somebody better speak to meeeeeeeeee !!!
YOU USELESS FUCKERS !!!

it is late now and i go to bed with chest pains which are still there this morning . lo and behold i can connect now .

so what's the moral of this story boys and girls ........ it is of course " when something goes wrong , you should do fuck all about it , particularly not spend most of a day trying to sort it out and certainly not get stressed about it , you should totally ignore the problem in the naive hope that it will sort itself out ... which it will . "

here endith my lesson .