incontinence , lurgy and joey

i took a short shopping break to top up on my vittles - more on that later on in the week .( and give me a break on reading up on the new job ) . it was a bad idea , i would go as far as saying it's the worst idea i've had so far this year . the place was packed , not enough tills open and was full of stupid old women with no sense of balance or direction who kept launching themselves ( usually 2 at a time ) in front of my hand selected , no-sticky-wheels trolley . now i know they've got to shop sometime , but they've got all week , why today . they couldn't possibly be out of horlicks ,incontinence pants and freeze dried egg powder already . not only that but they take up all the diasbled parking spaces close to the door . and they talk about the older generation being an example to us . hmmmmph .

not only that but everyone was staring at me , especially the eye candy , which made me a bit paranoid . could i look that strange , had i forgotten something or had i left the house with my flies undone again , or worse was my wanger hanging out ? so , i did what any man would do and rushed around , jumped a queue and got the hell outa there as fast as i could . now that i'm home though i've had a chance to check the mirror and i think i've seriously fucked up . even if i do say so myself , i'm looking damned handsome today - in a rugged ugly kind of way . i think i've let slip this year's first joey tribiani moments " how yooooou doin' ? "

i'm coming down with some dreaded lurgy . i normally have a cold or flu over xmas , but for some reason ( perhaps because i refuse to get stressed out by work anymore ) i haven't had one for that last 2 years , until now that is . the onset started as soon as i got up , a rough tickly throat , quickly followed by the sticcato cough and the shivers . somehow my body thinks it's 40 below and even a jacket and central heating can't change it's mind . looks like an interesting start to my new job , a runny nose , 2 red lines of scaley cracked skin either side of it , puffy bloodshot eyes and the patience of a cat with chilli paste on it's ring .