Mini happy returns

Over the years I've had a wide selection of cars. Some good, some ...not. Of course my first car was a Mini which I bought when I was 18. It was a complete pile of shite - hideous two tone paint job and wouldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding. But it was mine. It was only 8 years younger than me and I'm glad I had it (although it didn't run more often than it did) because it was where I learned about those sort of things. I learned how to bleed brakes (and inhale asbestos before I knew what it was), change brake shoes, replace wheel bearings, change the cylinder head, dismantle the carburettor (when cars had those). And it gave me freedom at a time when I still lived at home.
Fast forward 24 years and I drive a car that cost 200 times more but has broken down 10 times in the last 2 months. Of course now you lift the bonnet and see a wall of plastic, no recognisable engine features remain and the home tinkerer is reduced to ensuring he has the emergency number programmed into his phone.

Can I have my Mini back please?